Category Archives: My Long Lost Writing
From time to time I’ll either come across or come up with my own quips and quotes. Here are a few:
If you see “ej”, “lmg” or “lm…”, the preceding quote is mine.
When I was a kid, I always wondered why my mom got to do whatever she wanted to do. Now that I’m a mom, I don’t wonder about it,I ENJOY IT!!!
Gone crazy… Will be right back.
My friends can be broke… my man CAN’T!
(afterthought: I was SO single when I wrote this and was in the Dating World. I probably came across a broke brutha that tried to go too far taking advantage of my kindness and hospitality. SMH)
You bring joy to my heart and make my life richer. I’ll always cherish the gift of YOU.
What if there was someone out there named “Someone” or “Somebody”. Do you realize that he or she gets blamed for practically everything that goes on in the world???
Revised version of that last quote:
What if there was someone out there named “Not Me” or “I Don’t Know”. Do you realize that he or she gets blamed for practically everything that goes on in the world???
-Lea Mishell 090823
(a thought that ran through my head just before I began cleaning my apartment…)
Damn spontaneous tornadoes. Why do they always have to hit MY bedroom???
2001 Mother’s Day dedication to my mother that I wrote inside the card I gave her:
Mama, I’ve loved you since before I could focus my little newborn eyes on your beautiful face. You’ve been there through diapers and divorce. You’re not only my mother, you’re my friend.
If learn to fix my own car, what will I need a man for?
Rebuttal to previous quote: Trust me, I KNOW what I need a man for… I was having a bad “I don’t have a boyfriend” day…
Please don’t allow me or anyone to take away that which gives you joy.
Why are habits so easy to make and so hard to break?
What My Heart Color Means to You!
Color my heart red when you are near because to me you are so very dear…
When you are far away my heart turns blue because I sure do miss you…
Color my heart a bright yellow on a cloudy day because you chase my cares away…
Color it purple because your trust and loyalty has made me feel like royalty…
Color it green like the promise of spring for all the love our friendship brings…
Mishell’s Rant for May 8, 2001: Believe it or not, I’m single… Now you may be wondering why this is the case. Well, first of all, I’m not married…I don’t have what most call a real relationship…Therefore I am single…
The question is: How does Mishell feel about
DAMMIT! I don’t like it!
Yes, I can be a bit of a flirt, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life flirting. I want to be with one and only one man. He knows who he is and he if keeps bullshitting, I may not leave him the option of making a choice in the matter. Summer is coming and I’m already getting nibbled at. It’s not like I HAVE to be alone. I can give him a chance to think of what he’s about to lose…
I could just take the choice away from him totally and go out on my own and be the Independent Woman that I know I am.
And I would if I didn’t love him so much…
I’d rather have high self-esteem and be a diva than have low self-esteem and be a doormat!
~Lea Mishell 070705
Life’s short. Eat dessert first. Work less, vacation MORE!
Never do anything you’ll regret. Never regret anything you do.
My life is an open book… series.
What I found most interesting were the June 19th quotes, the day I married Hubby (they’re the BOLDED quotes in case you can’t read the “date code” behind the quotes)
FULL 1st CHAPTER of SistaGirlz Book #1 – Livin’ Just Enough: Rachael’s Story (What He Did For Her Love Edition)
SistaGirlz: an Urban Fairy Tale book series contains strong language, graphic sexual content and is intended for MATURE READERS ONLY (ages 18 and older)
SistaGirlz Book #1 – Livin’ Just Enough: Rachael’s Story (What He Did For Her Love Edition) is the first book in my SistaGirlz Urban Fairy Tale book series and introduces us to Rachael Wallace at the age of 15. Dating her childhood sweetheart Aaron Jones, we follow along as Rachael quickly faces adult decisions thrown her way. After Aaron is unexpectedly arrested, he breaks up with Rachael, leaving her alone to fend for herself. Enter Alonzo Banks. Never one to leave a damsel in distress, his kindness is returned when his relationship blossoms with Rachael. Of course the other shoe had to drop when Aaron is released from jail. Now that Rachael has fallen for Alonzo, should she continue her future with her new love or go back to the good ol’ lovin from Aaron?
My SistaGirlz series chronicles the tales of 9 different women with intertwining lives. Read about all Rachael and her Girlz in my new book series!
SistaGirlz Book #1 – Livin’ Just Enough: Rachael’s Story (What He Did For Her Love Edition)
Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rachael Wallace, but my friends call me Baby Girl. Growing up, I was always the good girl next door. Never did anything to get in trouble. Mommy’s little angel. That is until I finally gave in to Aaron Jones.
See, I had known Aaron since our first day of kindergarten. Through their many run-ins at parent-teacher conferences and single mother outings, our mothers became friends and, in turn, Aaron and I became friends. It seemed natural for us to grow from friendship into love. Unfortunately, while I was falling in love with Aaron, he was going down a negative path that introduced him to life on the wrong side of the law.
When my mother first heard through the grapevine that Aaron was a drug dealer, she thought she was telling me something that I didn’t already have suspicions about.
“Baby Girl, I don’t want you hangin’ ‘round Ron no mo’,” said Mama out of the blue one late summer evening.
Taken aback, I stopped washing dishes and asked the obligatory, “Why not?”
“Somebody told me they seen that boy hangin’ with some other boys dealin’ drugs on the corner last week,” she slurred, sloshing her glass of Jack and Coke onto the linoleum.
Since I wasn’t facing her, I felt safe to roll my eyes without getting smacked in the back of my head. “That’s not true, Mama.”
Cuz he wasn’t on the corner last week. He was with me in his mama’s basement trynna get his hands under my skirt!
“He’s only fifteen, Mama. Besides, didn’t you say we shouldn’t listen to gossip?” I said as I continued to wash the dishes. “I thought you and Aaron’s mama were friends. Don’t you think she would know if her son was a drug dealer?”
“Like Nessa know what that boy be doin’! She so busy runnin’ her fast ass out in the damn streets, I’d be surprised if she even knew he was trying to fuck you,” said Mama as she lit a cigarette.
Before she could finish her first puff, I did my fake cough to let her know how I felt about her smoking. We’d made a deal that if she didn’t smoke around me, I wouldn’t bother her about it.
“Baby Girl, I don’t want you with that boy, ya hear me?” Mama said as she walked out of the kitchen.
“Yes ma’am. I’ll stay away from Aaron.”
That was the first time I ever lied to my mother, but it wasn’t the last of me doing things I never thought I would do.
* * *
“Baby, what took you so long?! I been waiting over an hour fa yo’ sexy ass!” Aaron said as he pulled me into his arms.
Reluctantly pushing him away, I said, “My mama just left the house. I had to wait until she was gone cuz she said…”
When I hesitated, Aaron lifted my chin. “What did she say, Rachael?” he asked with concern. Only when we were alone did he call me by my given name.
“She said that I can’t see you anymore,” I said as I cried on his shoulder. He held me close as we sat down on his mama’s front porch. “She said she heard that you were with some boys dealin’ drugs on a corner.” When Aaron didn’t deny what I’d told him, I looked up at him. “You weren’t, were you?”
“Baby, what you don’t know won’t hurt you,” Aaron grinned at me.
Was my mother right? Was Aaron hanging with drug dealers? Was HE a drug dealer?
Before I could ask him what he meant, his boy Kris Young walked up on us. Aaron released me to greet his friend.
“Sup Kris,” Aaron said as he and Kris exchanged dap.
“Nuthin Ron. Sup Baby Girl.”
I glared at Kris because he interrupted my conversation with Aaron. I wanted to know the truth and I wanted it NOW!
“Hey, Baby Girl, gon’ in the house while I talk to Kris for a minute,” Aaron gently commanded with a smack to my ass.
“But Aaron…” I began.
“Rachael. Go in the house!” my boyfriend said through clenched teeth. Aaron never used my real name in front of his boys. For all they knew, Baby Girl was the name my mama gave me.
Since he’d never used my given name in front of his boys, and because he’d surprised me with his tone, I did as he asked.
Moments later, Aaron entered the house. As I sat on the couch, pouting, I watched my boyfriend walk toward me with his hands behind his back.
“I’m sorry about that little interruption, Baby,” Aaron apologized as he stood in front of me. “I hope this will make up for it.”
From behind his back, Aaron pulled out a small turquoise jewelry box. Inside was a silver Tiffany & Co. chain with a dangling platinum silver heart pendant. Before this, the most expensive gift he’d ever given me was a $200 gift card for the Galleria Mall. I was so shocked that he could even afford such a lovely gift!
“Oh! Aaron, it’s beautiful!” As I admired the necklace, I stood up to hug my boyfriend.
“You still mad at me?” he asked as he clasped the trinket around my neck before kissing me on my cheek.
Gently pushing him away and looking into his hazel eyes, I said, “I wasn’t mad at you but you still didn’t answer my question.”
“About what?” he asked as he pulled me closer to him to kiss his way down from my ear to my breasts.
Smiling because his touch tickled me, I replied, “About whether or not you’re a drug dealer.”
Aaron abruptly stopped kissing me to look into my eyes. “Look Rachael, I’ll tell you only what you need to know but don’t go asking me a bunch of questions. Either you trust me or you don’t, ah’ight?”
Before I could respond, Aaron gently pushed me back down onto the couch, knelt between my legs and opened them. “I wish you had on a skirt. Would make it easier to do this.”
“Aaron… what do you think you’re doing?” I yelped. Sitting up on my elbows, silently I thanked God that I chose to wear shorts as I thought back to our last un-chaperoned encounter.
Up until now, when it came to sex, Aaron and I had only gone as far as clothes burning in his mama’s basement but today he acted like he was trying to take things to a whole ‘nutha level! As he slowly kissed me from my knees up to the edge of my shorts, I squirmed while I inwardly debated whether to continue interrogating him about what my mother had said or just see how far Aaron thought he could go. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost didn’t feel him unbutton my shorts!
“Aaron, what are you doing?” I asked breathlessly.
Looking up at me, he replied, “Rachael, I love you and I want to show you how much.”
Aaron had never said the words “I love you”. I was so surprised that I didn’t know how to respond except to say, “I love you, too, Aaron.”
“Then let me make love to you,” he said as he tenderly pulled me up from the couch. “Now.”
As he led me upstairs to his bedroom, I realized that no one was home and since I was a 15-year-old virgin and not on the Pill, I stopped suddenly. “We can’t!”
“Why not?” Aaron asked quietly before he slipped his hands around my waist. Kissing me on my neck again, he said, “My mom’s gone and I’ve got condoms in my room.”
“You do?!” I nearly shrieked.
“Yeah. I don’t wanna get my Baby Girl pregnant until after we get married,” said Aaron as he took my hand and continued to lead me to his room.
“Pregnant? MARRIED?!” This time I snatched my hand away from him. “We can’t do this, Aaron!”
Turning to face me, he asked, “Rachael, didn’t I tell you that as long as you are my girl, no harm would ever come to you?”
“Rachael, have I ever lied to you?”
“Not exactly,” I replied thinking of how he evaded my earlier queries about his questionable activities.
Like the fact that you haven’t admitted that you’re hanging with drug dealers… or worse. That YOU are a drug dealer!
“Why would I start now?” he said as he sat on the top step. “I love you too much to lose you and if you don’t wanna do this now, we won’t. I can wait. Hopefully not until our wedding night but if that’s how you want it, fine. I don’t want to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“Aaron… how can I trust you with my body if you don’t completely trust me?” I asked fearfully.
“I do trust you, Baby…” he said, reaching for my hand.
“Then tell me the truth. Are you a drug dealer?” I asked directly.
I stood in the middle of the staircase looking up at that boy for what felt like an eternity. In reality, only a few seconds had passed.
“Will you leave me if I tell you the truth?” he asked.
“I’ll leave you if you lie to me, Aaron,” I answered.
Taking a deep breath and letting out a heavy sigh, Aaron began his story. “I’m only doin’ it to help my mom out. She’s been working two jobs just to keep this house and she needs my help. The only jobs I can get are some low paying, minimum wage gigs and they don’t pay shit,” Aaron explained.
“Why didn’t you say anything before now and how long have you been doing it?” I asked as I finished walking up the stairs.
Aaron rose from the step and went to his room. “Come with me.”
I sat on his bed while he turned on the small lamp on his desk before opening the top dresser drawer.
“I know you’re not getting those condoms just cuz I’m in your room!” I said quickly.
Grinning, Aaron turned around with a stack of mail in his hands. “Not until you’re ready, Baby. Nah, I wanted to show you these.”
He handed me a bunch of utility bills. Electric, gas, phone. All of them looked like they were past due and threatening disconnection of services.
“What are these?” I asked as Aaron sat down next to me on the bed.
“My mom’s bills,” he replied quietly. “She’s been working so much that she barely has time to come home and cook dinner for me. I’ve been eating at my grandmother’s house and living here by myself for the past year.”
And here my mom thought Aaron’s mom was out bein’ a ho just cuz she wasn’t home that much.
“Oh, Baby.” I softly rubbed Aaron’s cheek as a single tear fell down mine.
“Momz been working day and night to keep a roof over my head and I jus’ wanted to help her out so when my big cousin said I could help him with a few runs and make some money at it, I figured I’d make some quick cash. Just enough so she could get caught up and maybe quit one of those fuckin’ jobs,” Aaron said. “She wearin’ herself out workin’ ‘round people that half ass do they job while she picks up the slack at both jobs!” he finished, tossing the mail to the floor.
“This is a big house, Aaron,” I pointed out. “Maybe you two could move into an apartment or something smaller.”
“That’s what I told her but she won’t leave cuz my Granddad left us this house,” Aaron explained. “Big Mama knows we’re struggling and said that we could stay with her ‘til we got back on our feet but Momz was like ‘I got my own house and don’t need yo’ damn charity’.”
“But drugs, Aaron?” I asked. “It’s not your responsibility to take care of your mom. You’re only fifteen!”
“Rachael, I’m all my mom has,” Aaron said. “She had me when she was fifteen. I never knew my dad and I found out when I was a kid that Big Mama was upset when she first heard that Momz was pregnant with me. Even though Big Mama forgave her after I was born, my mom never got over Big Mama’s first reaction about the pregnancy. And even though Big Mama has always tried to help us, my mom doesn’t get along with her so we’ve been on our own.
“When Granddad died and left us this house, Momz took it even though she was still in college and only had a part time job. Once she graduated and got her business degree, she started working full time at the bank but kept the part time gig at the corner store working on the weekends jus’ so we could keep the utilities goin’. She’s so exhausted from dealin’ with everything by herself, she jus’ comes home and crashes on the couch ‘til it’s time to get up in a few hours for the next workday. I was spending more time at Big Mama’s than here just to get a decent meal.” Taking my hands into his, he said, “But once you finally saw that I was feelin’ you, I convinced Momz and Big Mama to let me stay home by myself. That way I could spend more time with you.”
“I did notice that you used to be gone every weekend,” I noted. “I never saw your dad around so I figured you were seeing him on the weekends or something.”
“Wasn’t even like that,” Aaron said as he rose to put the bills back in the dresser. He walked back to me with a fresh pack of condoms in his hand.
“Aaron…” I warned.
“No, Baby. I want you to bring this to me when you’re ready.” Aaron kissed me on the cheek. “I want to be your first and only. But only when you want it, OK?”
Before I could answer, the phone rang in the hallway.
“Excuse me, Baby,” said Aaron on his way out the door.
I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but the door was ajar and Aaron’s voice was raised.
“What?! … When?! … What hospital?!”
Hospital?! Oh, my God! Who’s hurt?
“I’m on my way!”
I stepped out into the hallway just as Aaron began dialing a number on the phone.
“Aaron, what’s going on?”
“There was a robbery at the store. They shot my mama!!!” Aaron shouted as he hung up the phone.
“Oh, my God!” I screamed. “Which hospital is she at?!”
“They’re taking her to Barnes right now,” Aaron said as he tried to call another number. “I gotta get a ride over there!”
“Let me call my mom. She can take us, OK?” I suggested.
“O… K…” Dropping his head, Aaron handed me the phone before he slumped to the floor. As I dialed my mom’s cell number, Aaron murmured, “Not my mama! Why they have to shoot my mama?!”
Holding Aaron in my arms, he cried the entire time we waited for my mother to pick us up.
Want to read the FULL story?! Get your copy of SistaGirlz Book #1 – Livin’ Just Enough: Rachael’s Story (What He Did For Her Love Edition), available exclusively on Leanpub.com!!
SistaGirlz Book #2 – Illusions: Layla’s Story
In other news, I’m still working on my PLAN to become a full-time author by November 2, 2012 if not sooner. For those keeping score, that’s my 40th birthday. And since I have achieved my goals of becoming a mother and wife, it was about time I work on my PeaceLoveHappiness by getting back to my writing to achieve that third goal: AUTHOR.
I’ve gone back to full time editing on Livin’ Just Enough. It’s been a minute since I’ve looked at it and so far, it’s still good 🙂 I like the new beginning cuz it gives more depth to why Baby Girl does what she does. From working on TALES FROM THE LOU, I’ve been seriously thinking of combining the connected 4 stories but from what I’ve edited so far, LJE just might make the cut on the word count to be a standalone short novel. Lookin at Red Bud Ave. Publications to publish my books (www.redbudave.com). This is a new company (I think they just started sometime last year) run by my co-author on Tales From The Lou, Teresa Seals. She has 3 books out not counting Tales (check out her new book, WASHED UP, on Amazon.com) She’s also re-releasing her first two books through Red Bud.
Sorry this is so long. I’m having a GREAT day and I just can’t shut up! LOL